junior year 1st day

​sep1. passed my mcas forever which was pretty darn good. its hard making friends. Jake the only person im really close to and isnt in my homeroom and honestly Ive started to cry. I feel so alone and schools not helping. nothings like last year. boy I miss last year sure there were ups and downs.

 I met this girl she kinda scares me her name is Jasmine I dont trust her but then again I dont trust anyone.

 I dont have anyfriends and I feel deeply alone. I want to be loved and have friends. I feel like Im losing everything. I have to live for but what elses knew me feeling depressed people brushing it aside and saying youll be ok. It gets tiresome afterwhile…

     the way people stare at me like im a freak really hurts. even if its all in my perception.
sep 2

I watched as my old friends laughed togeather including Jake my boyfriend. I longed to fit in again. Every friday due to my per usual rutine I ate sushi and watched a horror movie. Isnt it creepy how horror movies seem so related to my life. 

I talked to my home room teacher stewuart about how I have trust issues and it felt good to get it out.

I had a conversation with Julia and told her about how ive been feeling and she said she could relate and that where cool now. Julia is a girl I met at summer camp.  shes a nice girl. I just have very bad trust issues. At my school which is more special ed than a place can get staff always follow you around and Im almost 18 on november 7th to.

also I have an obssesion with k drama because in all the stories its the same plot almost and I love it. If only life were a k drama and I could make friends. 

Also a little dissclaimer if you didnt already know I get off topic easily.